candyland | (no subject)

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Stolen from

ickaimp when I was ~~stalking her LJ for fics~~ looking to see if she'd posted any new fics on there, thought it looked kind of interesting...

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want -good or bad- BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you.

Knowing some of my friends, if they respond, this could get very, very ~~naughty and perverted~~ interesting *grin*

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I don't know how much good it would have done to throw the bowling pins to me. I mean, what with the starving camel trying to chew on my kneecaps...I was a bit distracted!!!

but if you had the bowling pins, you could have used them to bludgeon the camel into submission, then had him carry you away from those 30 cops! I mean, I dont want to sit and play the blame game, but you really blew it that time. Did Mike ever find his socks?

Okay, fine, so I made a mistake! But can you blame me? I mean, it was stepping on a turkey! And no, I don't think he ever found his socks--the pigs. You know all about the pigs. And then the Cereal Killer murdered Toucan Sam!! Can you really blame me for not beating the camel?

I completely forgot about that damned turkey! Granted, he was only trying to help, but just because he knew how to sing the national anthem for Brazil didn't mean he was very stealthy when it came to those pigs. Who decided to let him in on the job? All's he really managed to do was break the coffee pot before all hell broke loose. *sigh*

I really liked that coffee pot, too!

And that stupid turkey wasn't even supposed to sing the national anthem for Brazil--he was supposed to translate everything that was happening into ancient Greece and send it to the Martians. I don't know where he got that map for the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, but he really should have saved it for later when the singing refrigerator got there!

I dont think the refrigerator would have done much good by that point. I mean, everything had already gone to shit, right? I'm actually pretty glad you stepped on that worthless turkey, being as thanksgiving was the next day, and I dont' like killing, and I think talentless turkey tastes rather dry.

And those martians are probably STILL trying to figure out why the heck we didnt just fly up to their mothership and give them the codes directly...next time, when we want something done right, we ought to just do it ourselves and not involve the local fowl at all.

I think it all had something to do with these breadsticks I found. But hopefully, the Martians have learned their lesson. They could have at least used the rose bush--it's far more reliable than that stupid turkey. And then beat it with an iron and call it Charlene. That's all there is to it!!

well, I think from now on, we just leave turkeys out of it, plain and simple. Maybe this will serve as a reminder next time we make shady deals with amish martian settlers. But we got a kick ass kitchen set out of the deal, didn't we? Nobody even has to know about the squiggly wiggly worm that escaped from the toxic squash.

Amish Martians are bad news, no matter which way you look at it. Don't worry, I'll dispose of Charlene--the thing's dead, anyway. But never fear--by the end of the decade, I will put a hippo on the surface of the Earth, and all will be well!!

yeah, until that hippo reads your top secret journals where you have written basic outlines to all of these evil schemes! I TOLD you to stop training animals to read! It never ends well! Just look at what happened to that poor bunny when it read how to mix vodka and...well, nevermind. I don't need to rehash that old story.

Ha, but I have fooled them! I translated my outlines into Egyptian hieroglyphics with every fourth word from Tuesday written backwards. Those notebooks hold the recipe for Grandma's potato salad!

And I thought I told you NEVER to mention the bunny and vodka incident again. It's almost as bad as the mouse pad incident. We do NOT speak of them!!

Dude, all they need is the Rosetta stone, and the hippos will totally get into your journal with no problems. And WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BRING UP THE BUNNY AND VODKA INCIDENT?! *starts crying uncontrollably*

Except the hippos aren't anywhere near my journals!! My journals are hidden in my Secret Place of Uber-Secrecy. The Pickles defend them there, so the hippos won't get them. I've armed the Pickles with plastic knives and sporks, so they are a fearsome army, indeed.

And in my defense, I didn't bring up the Bunny and Vodka incident--SHE did!!

Well, you're the entire REASON there even WAS a bunny and vodka incident, and you'll do well to remember that! Just because we agreed to not speak of it, doesn't mean it didn't happen! Just ask your uncle Jimbo what he thought of the whole incident and I'm sure your opinoin will be greatly affected.

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She's right. I never did find my socks. But then of course, I think that may have been because something went critical. I recall hearing about an radioactive sock being sold on Ebay that sounded like mine though...

Too bad about the socks. I was rather fond of the pink emu pattern on them. But I guess if they're radioactive now, then they'd probably be green, and I won't be able to get near them. Allergies, you know.

Could be worse, though. It could have been your GLOVES that went all green and goopy. That would have been horrendous!!

Yeah, those gloves are still nice. I mean the monkey leather feels nice against my skin

your monkey leather gloves feel nice against MY skin as well...or was I not supposed to say anything?

...I think that's a "not say anything" moment, dear...

oh...*blushes*

YOU"RE JUST JEALOUS!!!

How'd you guess?

What you do in your free time is your own business, with or without the zebras!

but the zebras are the whole POINT of the matter!

No, no, no--you're thinking of the African zebras. I'm talking about the European zebras!! They like to carry coconuts and leave them in strange places!!

like that time I found a coconut in my pillowcase...I was WONDERING how it got there without disturbing the dandylions.

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