Best. Music Joke. EVER.

[candyland]

I heard this at jazz show, and thought it was hilarious. So...without further ado...


A soprano died and went to the gates of Heaven. St. Peter was waiting, and when she arrived, he asked her a question: "How many notes did you miss throughout your life?"

The soprano thought about it, and replied, "Three."

St. Peter nodded and snapped his fingers, and suddenly an angel ran out of nowhere and jabbed the soprano three times with a needle before running off.

Naturally, the soprano was very surprised. "OUCH! That hurt! What was that about?"

"It's the Law of Heaven," St. Peter replied. "God loves beautiful music. So when musicians arrive here, we stick them with a needle once for every note they missed in their life before we let them enter." He opened the gates and led the soprano in.

As she was passing through the gates, she heard a horrible screaming sound from behind a nearby wall. She stopped and listened--it sounded like a person in horrible pain. She turned around and asked, "What is that??"

St. Peter replied, "Oh, that's a tenor. He's been here for quite some time. I think he's just getting started on his third week on the sewing machine."

And just for gomath02...

What's the difference between a Porsche and a soprano?

Most musicians have never been inside a Porsche.

*RUNS LIKE THE WIND!!*

Comments

[esaevian.livejournal.com]

hahahaha....awesome. I <3 music jokes.

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

I love musician's humor ♥♥♥

[articulation.livejournal.com]

...I would take offense to that soprano joke if it wasn't kind of funny. xD

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

I've actually LOOKED for alto jokes...and I found one that was any good. DON'T BLAME MEEEEE!! BLAME THE JOKE WRITERS!!

... *luffs you?*

[gomath02.livejournal.com]

It's because altos are the awesome! :)

[lucindathemaid.livejournal.com]

*laughs. loudly.*

Oh God. That's getting sent to all of my music major friends. ♥

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

Music jokes FOR THE WIN!! :D :D :D

[lucindathemaid.livejournal.com]

Told my mom. She went, "Oh, har har." XDDDDDD

[illeistic.livejournal.com]

... I don't get the first one, and the second one would've been funny if I hadn't heard variations of it a million times. :D

But I still love you.

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

Every wrong note they sing, they get jabbed with a needle. A sewing machine has a needle that goes up and down through the fabric at a very rapid pace. If he's been on there three weeks, he's been jabbed a LOT because that's how many notes he's missed.

♥♥♥

[ulfstormbringer.livejournal.com]

I believe Mrs. Nelson refered to that as the "Tenor Fudge Factor" Or maybe that was the ability to screw up everyone around us...

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

Or as Weber once did an entire speech on (read that as twenty minutes of him babbling), the tenors in operas always get the girl. Which might be why he's still single *halos*

[illeistic.livejournal.com]

Hahaha 8D

Darn you! Darn you to Heck!

[ulfstormbringer.livejournal.com]

I'm going to end up telling that second joke to Ruby tonight and I'm going to die. Thanks for causing my death.

Re: Darn you! Darn you to Heck!

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

...you're welcome!! ^_________^

[spirit-sage-333.livejournal.com]

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Your fired! *_*

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

I HAVE WORSE JOKES AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE THEM!! ;D

And for what it's worth, Jason B. was the announcer. BLAME HIM! *huggles you and flees*

[kaitodoushi.livejournal.com]

.......

I kill you now.

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

*is ded from the killing*

[gomath02.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)