candyland: (glomp)
[personal profile] candyland
Okay, I decided to make a separate entry for all the funny stuff said tonight because there was just so much of it.

TAKE ONE! [livejournal.com profile] ashleymouse and I are watching The Little Mermaid.

*Ursula appears on screen*
Ash: She's an alto. You can tell because she's evil.
Me: ...I was going to make a crack about the tentacles, but that works too.


TAKE TWO! Ash and I went down to the Cent Room for a snack with [livejournal.com profile] jewelsybear1017 and Kali. Enter weird discussion the first...

*discussing great actors*
Jewels: Johnny Depp is in my happy place
Ash: He can’t be in your happy place, he’s in my happy place
Kali: It’s fine as long as he isn’t in your happy places at the same time
Ash: Then it gets kinky!

Later, as we're discussing color personalities...

Jewels: I'm blue and orange.
Ash: Like the Chicago Bears!


TAKE THREE! As we're leaving the Cent Room and heading back to the dorms, Jewels mentions a recent news story...

Jewels: Did you hear about this guy? He got arrested for having sex with a deer carcass.
All: EWWWW!!
Kali: That's bestiality!
Ash: And necrophilia!
Jewels: But there's no law against having sex with a dead animal.
All: ...
Kali: Okay, so get him on the other charge?
Ash: How desperate does a person have to be??
Me: Yeah, really! There's this wonderful thing called masturbation, honestly!
Jewels: It's a masturbatory aide!
Kali: JEWELS!!
Ash: Good god, get a blow-up doll!
Me: ROBOSEX!! (This is a running joke in our group.)
All: *crack up*
Ash: I think the world would be a better place if people that desperate could have Robosex instead of turning to a deer carcass. In fact, if a friend of mine was that desperate, I think I'd buy them Robosex!
Me: Agreed! Or just make friends with your hand. *pause* Masturbatory aide...good grief, Jewels.

Later, as Ash and I walked back into the dorm...

Me: *singing to the tune of Mickey Mouse Club* Robosex--vibrator! Robosex--vibrator!

...we're perverts. But we're fun!!
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December 2020

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