She's got the powaaaaah!!
Aug. 4th, 2006 04:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
candylandThe counselors here at camp got a brief lecture on how we're supposed to refrain from swearing as much as possible around the students. Because God knows they're only high schoolers and probably haven't heard every curse in the book plus a few that haven't made it into the newest edition yet *rolls eyes* But still, it leads to discussions like this at the lunch table...
Me: We could do what Dad did when he was in the service--instead of 'shit,' everyone has to say 'feces.' Instead of 'fuck,' everyone has to say 'intercourse.' And I'm not feces-ing you, either.
Ashley: *dotdotdot*
Me: Or just say something like "Insert choice of swear word here!" *laugh* I'm thinking of a word that starts with an 'f' and ends in 'uck.'
Ashley: ...firetruck!
Me: *dies*
I'm uber-glad Ashley's coming here next year. She'll actually live in the hallway above me. Yay for neighbors! And she'll be in choir with me, one more crazy person to boost the antics of the alto section =D
And now, for something completely different, I give you some fun lyrics. The idea is that this woman is debating the pros and cons of becoming a single mother. All biological facts are, in fact, correct. I think it's a fun 'girl power' song, for lack of a better term, and it makes me smile. Enjoy!
Stop!
All right, that's it, that's that the one that does it
I've had it with this song and dance
A man must this and a woman must that
'Till relationships don't stand a chance
I'm sorry to shout, but I'm up to here
With all that crap about man and wife
For I, thank God, am a scientist
And I know the real facts of life
Like a soul possessed
I have studied and assessed
The creatures of this earth
And from moose to eel
What my studies most reveal
Is the male's inflated worth
For in most of the animal kingdom
The ladies only seldom need men
Their dealings are straight
They use them to mate
And never see them again
The bear, the tiger, the hamster, and the mole
Have females who live fruitful lives outside of male control
For one mindless spasm, they allow the male his role
That's marriage for the tiger, bear, and hamster
Now the mole, who's blind
Will never be confined
To a male she's merely felt
Once his seed is sown
She has her babes alone
In the hole where the male mole dwelt
And as for the boa constrictor
She needs no more than one male response
For when it appears
She stores it for years
To use whenever she wants
The ray, the rhino, the penguin, and the tern
Those mothers know that motherhood is not a male concern
Of course, they're not human, but they show what we can learn
They point the way, the rhino, ray, and penguin
In a field or brook
Almost anywhere you look
Are mothers on their own
On the deep, on high
Mothers kiss their mates goodbye
And they raise their young alone
Now I make no grief for the mantis
Who decapitates her mate during sex
But I do like the hawk
Who makes with a squawk
And then throws rocks at her ex
The bitch, the vixen, the queen bee, and the shrew
What men have done to those five words, we never can undo
They're strong, working mothers--yes, they're just like me and you
Let's redefine the shrew, the bitch, and vixen
And be like the seagulls
Roam free as the lynx
And cruise like the caribous if we choose
And not have to wait for those sly little winks
From some man who envies the sex life of minks
And not have to guess if he's one of the finks
And whether he drinks or whether he stinks
Or what he thinks...of me
Now of course, if Fate
Should put upon my plate
That quintessential male
I would stick like glue
Yes, I would be as true
As any beaver, owl, or whale
But 'till then I'll envy the oyster
Who lives a happy life on the shelf
When she wants a term
She releases some sperm
And fertilizes herself
The hare, the condor, the guppy, and the bream
They're all out there doing what humans only dream
Come march towards the future on my scientific team
For now that you've seen and can compare
Why, anyone with the will to bear
Can follow the tiger and the bear
And hamster and mole and me!
No offense intended towards any guys--I love you dearly ^_^
Me: We could do what Dad did when he was in the service--instead of 'shit,' everyone has to say 'feces.' Instead of 'fuck,' everyone has to say 'intercourse.' And I'm not feces-ing you, either.
Ashley: *dotdotdot*
Me: Or just say something like "Insert choice of swear word here!" *laugh* I'm thinking of a word that starts with an 'f' and ends in 'uck.'
Ashley: ...firetruck!
Me: *dies*
I'm uber-glad Ashley's coming here next year. She'll actually live in the hallway above me. Yay for neighbors! And she'll be in choir with me, one more crazy person to boost the antics of the alto section =D
And now, for something completely different, I give you some fun lyrics. The idea is that this woman is debating the pros and cons of becoming a single mother. All biological facts are, in fact, correct. I think it's a fun 'girl power' song, for lack of a better term, and it makes me smile. Enjoy!
All right, that's it, that's that the one that does it
I've had it with this song and dance
A man must this and a woman must that
'Till relationships don't stand a chance
I'm sorry to shout, but I'm up to here
With all that crap about man and wife
For I, thank God, am a scientist
And I know the real facts of life
Like a soul possessed
I have studied and assessed
The creatures of this earth
And from moose to eel
What my studies most reveal
Is the male's inflated worth
For in most of the animal kingdom
The ladies only seldom need men
Their dealings are straight
They use them to mate
And never see them again
The bear, the tiger, the hamster, and the mole
Have females who live fruitful lives outside of male control
For one mindless spasm, they allow the male his role
That's marriage for the tiger, bear, and hamster
Now the mole, who's blind
Will never be confined
To a male she's merely felt
Once his seed is sown
She has her babes alone
In the hole where the male mole dwelt
And as for the boa constrictor
She needs no more than one male response
For when it appears
She stores it for years
To use whenever she wants
The ray, the rhino, the penguin, and the tern
Those mothers know that motherhood is not a male concern
Of course, they're not human, but they show what we can learn
They point the way, the rhino, ray, and penguin
In a field or brook
Almost anywhere you look
Are mothers on their own
On the deep, on high
Mothers kiss their mates goodbye
And they raise their young alone
Now I make no grief for the mantis
Who decapitates her mate during sex
But I do like the hawk
Who makes with a squawk
And then throws rocks at her ex
The bitch, the vixen, the queen bee, and the shrew
What men have done to those five words, we never can undo
They're strong, working mothers--yes, they're just like me and you
Let's redefine the shrew, the bitch, and vixen
And be like the seagulls
Roam free as the lynx
And cruise like the caribous if we choose
And not have to wait for those sly little winks
From some man who envies the sex life of minks
And not have to guess if he's one of the finks
And whether he drinks or whether he stinks
Or what he thinks...of me
Now of course, if Fate
Should put upon my plate
That quintessential male
I would stick like glue
Yes, I would be as true
As any beaver, owl, or whale
But 'till then I'll envy the oyster
Who lives a happy life on the shelf
When she wants a term
She releases some sperm
And fertilizes herself
The hare, the condor, the guppy, and the bream
They're all out there doing what humans only dream
Come march towards the future on my scientific team
For now that you've seen and can compare
Why, anyone with the will to bear
Can follow the tiger and the bear
And hamster and mole and me!
No offense intended towards any guys--I love you dearly ^_^