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Mar. 31st, 2005 10:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
candylandIt's happening again. Shit, shit, triple shit...
Lately, everything's been going pretty good. Spent the evening at Jackie's, baking cookies. Come back and find I have missed calls from my mother on my cell phone. I call her back.
Turns out that my assistant band director from high school, a woman who was wonderful to me and who I always felt very close to, is ill. This isn't new news, exactly--she was diagnosed with cancer last year. What is new is that they've changed the diagnosis a little.
It's terminal.
Great. Just fuckin' great...sorry. I shouldn't be swearing like that. But dammit, it's just like what happened to Erik. They beat it, it comes back, they fight it, it comes back, they get rid of it, and then it takes over and KA-BOOM, someone you've known for ages is gone. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am.
Maybe I'm naive, or maybe I'm just trying to cling to the last couple shreds of child-like innocence, or hell, maybe I'm just in denial, but I just don't understand. I don't understand why things like this happen--to good people, to people I know. I don't get it, I don't pretend to. But I hate it. Death--the ultimate equal opportunity employer. Fuck it.
I'm going to sleep. Maybe when I wake up, I'll feel better. Because right now, I really feel like shit.
Lately, everything's been going pretty good. Spent the evening at Jackie's, baking cookies. Come back and find I have missed calls from my mother on my cell phone. I call her back.
Turns out that my assistant band director from high school, a woman who was wonderful to me and who I always felt very close to, is ill. This isn't new news, exactly--she was diagnosed with cancer last year. What is new is that they've changed the diagnosis a little.
It's terminal.
Great. Just fuckin' great...sorry. I shouldn't be swearing like that. But dammit, it's just like what happened to Erik. They beat it, it comes back, they fight it, it comes back, they get rid of it, and then it takes over and KA-BOOM, someone you've known for ages is gone. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am.
Maybe I'm naive, or maybe I'm just trying to cling to the last couple shreds of child-like innocence, or hell, maybe I'm just in denial, but I just don't understand. I don't understand why things like this happen--to good people, to people I know. I don't get it, I don't pretend to. But I hate it. Death--the ultimate equal opportunity employer. Fuck it.
I'm going to sleep. Maybe when I wake up, I'll feel better. Because right now, I really feel like shit.