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[personal profile] candyland
Title: The Annoyance Theory
Fandom: Detective Conan
Characters: General series
Prompt: #77—what?
Word Count: 638 words
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: I do not own Detective Conan. It all belongs to Gosho Aoyama. I simply borrow the characters, tie them up, and dance them around like life-sized puppets. I do wish they’d stop complaining.
Summary: Some people REALLY don’t like being ignored. Very slight shounen-ai.



It can almost be called the Annoyance Theory. The old adage goes that if you want an irritant to go away, you simply have to ignore them. They might throw even more of a tantrum, but if you refuse to give them your attention, eventually they will tire of it and find other ways to entertain themselves.

And it was about to come into play, unbeknownst to one of the parties involved.

Kaitou Kid, the illustrious Phantom Thief, folded his arms and studied the young man—one, Kudo Shinichi—leaning against the railing that ran around the perimeter of the skyscraper’s roof. He’d gotten there and found one of his favorite rivals waiting for him.

This was almost to be expected, and he’d prepared a few new zingers for the verbal banter that was undoubtedly going to occur before he made his getaway. But he wasn’t quite prepared to be…

Ignored.

Flat-out ignored—like he wasn’t even there, or he was completely invisible. No witty banter, no threats of catching him another time, no insistence that he give up and surrender to arrest. Zilch. Insult was added to injury when Kudo fished a book out of his pocket and started reading.

For one such as Kid, who essentially thrived on being the center of attention, this was not an acceptable state of affairs! He knew he had enough of a lead that he could stay and play for a few minutes before the police would catch up. He sincerely hoped they enjoyed the little present he’d left on the stairs for them—it was amazing, really, the things one could do with silly putty and a few coat hangers.

Ten minutes later, Kudo had turned six pages, and Kid was running out of ideas—yet another rare occurrence. This only added to his increasingly bad temper over the whole affair. He sensed that there was some sort of a battle going on here, and he did not like the fact that he seemed to be losing. But Kudo hadn’t reacted to anything!

Finally, Kid did the only thing he could think of—the one thing he was sure the Great Stone-Face couldn’t possibly keep up a façade against. He reached out with both hands and grabbed Kudo’s cheeks—his facial ones, the other ones were, sadly, pressed up against a railing and thus not available for immediate grope-age.

To Kudo’s credit, his expression didn’t change a whit when he was grabbed. But his mask shattered into shock and alarm when Kid pounced. “Kissu kissu!”

There wasn’t time to move away, and Shinichi found himself faced with a sizable choice: continue the rather unorthodox kiss…or flip backwards over the railing and plummet to his messy, splatty death on the pavement below.

After a few seconds of actually wavering back and forth between the two choices, he decided that death really wasn’t an option, and stayed put.

…and he was pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn’t the worst kiss of his life, either.

It was Kid who ended the kiss—not that Shinichi had much of a choice, as he was walled…or railed, as the case may be. The Phantom Thief lingered a moment longer before stepped back. “What was that all about?” he asked, shoving gloved hands into pockets.

“You did exactly what I thought you would do.”

“Which was?”

“Throw a tantrum.”

“I did not.”

“So putting a pigeon on my head and sticking roses in my ears wasn’t a tantrum? Then what was it, exactly?”

“Interpretive art. And there are the police. Ja ne, tantei-san!”

In a flourish of white cape and rose petals, he was gone. Off the roof, Shinichi assumed—that was the usual M.O. when it came to Kid’s escape. And for once, Shinichi found himself not minding that Kid had gotten away.



PS. This is all [profile] jeva_chan’s fault. Completely, one hundred percent. On a recent drabble request I did, she requested Kid/Shinichi, with a prompt of “kissu kissu.” So…there ya have it. ZOMG SHOUNEN-AI!! I’ll sit here now and watch as everyone runs away...

Thanks for reading, all. Much love!




Cross-posted to [profile] fanfic100 and Fanfic100: Detective Conan.

December 2020

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