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Pretty much the best thing ever...
Feb. 24th, 2007 10:25 am60 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. Iowans plant gardens.
50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People are sunbathing in Des Moines.
40 above zero: Import cars won’t start. Iowans drive with the sunroof open.
32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in Okoboji gets thicker.
20 above zero: New Mexicans don long johns, parkas and wool hats & mittens. Iowans throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn on the heat. People in Iowans have one last cookout before it gets cold.
Zero: People in Miami all die. Iowans close the windows.
10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. Iowans dig their winter coats out of storage.
25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. Girl Scouts in Iowa still selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero: Washington, D.C. finally runs out of hot air. People in Iowa let their dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Iowans get upset because the Mini-Van won’t start.
460 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). Iowans walk around saying, “Cold ’nuff fer ya?”
500 below zero: Hell freezes over. Iowa public schools get a two-hour late start.
50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People are sunbathing in Des Moines.
40 above zero: Import cars won’t start. Iowans drive with the sunroof open.
32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in Okoboji gets thicker.
20 above zero: New Mexicans don long johns, parkas and wool hats & mittens. Iowans throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn on the heat. People in Iowans have one last cookout before it gets cold.
Zero: People in Miami all die. Iowans close the windows.
10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. Iowans dig their winter coats out of storage.
25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. Girl Scouts in Iowa still selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero: Washington, D.C. finally runs out of hot air. People in Iowa let their dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Iowans get upset because the Mini-Van won’t start.
460 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). Iowans walk around saying, “Cold ’nuff fer ya?”
500 below zero: Hell freezes over. Iowa public schools get a two-hour late start.
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