(no subject)

[candyland]

Ever feel like a hampster in a wheel--you run and run and run and get absolutely nowhere? That's kinda what I'm feeling right now. It's mostly school at the moment. My classes are kicking my ass. My Educational Structure and Philosophy has no actual 'structure,' Educational Psychology isn't too bad ('cept the research paper feels a little vague), and scheduling my Directed Observations is the approximate equivalent of sticking an open umbrella up a certain portion of my anatomy.

Sideways. You get the idea. It's nobody's fault, it's just kind of the way things are working out.

I have completely lost my head for Music Theory, and for the life of me I can't figure out why. My last test was an exercise in completely and total failure. I couldn't even look at the damn thing...but we will do better on this one. And finally, Diction in Foreign Languages has moved into the wonderful world of Italian IPA. The class' feelings on this could be summed up with what we wrote on the board to our prof at the beginning of class on Thursdays: WE DON'T LIKE ITALIAN IPA!!!!! She laughed at us, and went through some stuff with us. It's not much better, but it's a start.

On another note, I'm seriously continuing not doing the RA thing again next year. Some of my friends are trying to put together a suite, and I would not mind living in a suite. But if we don't get the suite, I want to stay an RA. I feel kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place. But I've still got a little time to make up my mind. One more thing on the to-do list, haha.

I don't know why I'm feeling so burned out lately. I've been seriously bummed since I got sick a few weeks ago, and when I thought I was kind of getting caught up and picking myself back up, the whole thing with Tony's death came down, and it threw me completely for a loop. I haven't managed to get my feet back under me yet, and it's both frustrating me and freaking me out. I don't like being this off-balance. I was doing great first semester. This semester, I kind of feel like I'm swimming through Jell-O with weights on my arms and legs. I'm sinking very slowly, but sinking nonetheless.

Will I make it? I have to. I've pulled through times like this before. It's just that it's never been this prolonged. Guess all I can is keep spin, spin, spinning on that little wheel, and hoping that I finally make it where I need to go.

And in the meantime, I want to send an enormous shout-out to all the wonderful people who let me vent and rage and bitch and complain when I need to, all my friends: Ryann, Share, Andrew, John, Steve, Jackie, Liz, Matt, Jewels, Misty, Tyler, Ben, Matt, Rachie-chan, Kelsey, Kathy, Rachel, Michael, Katie, the girls in my house who always make me laugh, my online friends, and anyone/everyone else I may not have included on this list. You guys are the people who keep me going. I'm so glad I know you, and I love you all, each and every one of you. Thanks a mil, kids!

~ Candy-chan ^_^

Comments

Round and round spins the hampster wheel...

[jewelsybear1017.livejournal.com]

I hear ya on that whole scenario. I still haven't quite gotten into the groove of this semester either and losing Tony put quite the damper on many of us. Keep your chin up kid, life will return to some semblance of normal soon enough. As much as I keep you going, remember that you also keep me going. Part of that whole being friends thing. So those are my words of worldly wisdom.

Re: Round and round spins the hampster wheel...

[ravag3r.livejournal.com]

go with the suite. Definately.

[kaitodoushi.livejournal.com]

Blah, I know how you feel... I'm fairly certain my issues are from my mental disorders, but I know what you mean! And I'm always glad to listen to rants! Mostly because I do it too, lol... Heh, I think I'm going in for the random roommate draw again so I won't be so lonely. I wonder if I should put "watches waaaay too much anime" on my form...?

[blink1-82.livejournal.com]

I dont' know if I'm on your list? there is two of me or if I got skipped all together. I'll talk to you later but thing do get better, I promise. ta ta for now.

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

Yup, you is on there. I have two good friends named Matt, so I named you both :)

Dancing....

[vixieangel.livejournal.com]

Pink Elephants. That will make you smile or say gosh Vixie you are insane! I LOVE YOU! An can I push you in the cart???? When theory gets you down think of how much you have learned. Thats how I keep going with all the abuse.