Convo of WEIRD

[candyland]

Yes, another one. magic_truth and I had this conversation a while back. The question: What would happen if Kaito was stuck alone with Aoko's mom for a while? We never actually finished it, but it was just too much fun to not post. Beware of weirdness within ^__^ Enjoy!



Candyland: Aoko's mom is fanon, as far as i know. hasn't been introduced, so we get to make her into whatever we want to suit our needs :-)

sapphirestars: don't make one of the parents hateful...that's my only beef with Relative Truth...Yuusaku comes off like a jerk.

sapphirestars: so she can be a pretty smart blonde too?lol

Candyland: *snicker* "Aoko-chan, don't chase the handsome young man with a mop! It's unladylike!"

sapphirestars: pick up a duster instead!

Candyland: "Wow, thanks, Mom!" *continues chase*

sapphirestars: Kaito is effectively scared of Aoko's mom

Candyland: Mom: Kaito-kun, I am under the impression that you're in love with my daughter.
Kaito: Ummmm...

sapphirestars: Shinichi from across the city "Danger, Will Robinson, danger!"

sapphirestars: "Moms are evil!"

Candyland: *he is glomped by Yukiko* Shin-chan, who are you talking to?

sapphirestars: "No one..." Shinichi effectively gets up and runs away before Kisaki-san is notified. But back at the ranch...

Candyland: Mom: Well? Are you or aren't you?

sapphirestars: Kaito: Love is such a relative term, really. *looks around hastily for exits*

Candyland: Mom: Uh-huh... *stalks slowly towards him* Relative to what?

sapphirestars: Kaito: Relative to what your definition of what 'love' is, for example, Nakamori-san.

Candyland: Mom: All right. By your definition of love, are you in love with my daughter? *is grinning evilly*

sapphirestars: Kaito: *damn* Well, my definition of love is...um, still developing. Its really a rough draft. Shouldn't be used as a source or anything.

Candyland: Mom: Now, Kaito-kun, I think should inform you that giving birth naturally equips one with what's called a Bullshit Detector. and mine is ringing like crazy.

sapphirestars: Kaito: Really, huh? Such a thing exists. My mom wasn't bluffing all this time? Do you think you could tell me more about it?

Candyland: Mom: I'll make you a deal. I'll tell you all about the Maternal Bullshit Detector...after you answer my question.

sapphirestars: Kaito: *damn again* what was your question "Are you in love with Aoko?" Ok, well, I certainly do love Aoko.

Candyland: Mom: I'm aware you love her. I asked if you were in love with her. There is a difference.

sapphirestars: Kaito: Probably wouldn't care to explain the difference, would you?

Candyland: Mom: You know the difference.

sapphirestars: Kaito phrases words carefully like the slippery fish (HA!) he is: Well, when you're in love someone there's usually some element of 'I'd die for her" in it, right? Or 'wanting to spend the rest of my life with her' right?

Candyland: Mom: I have a hammer, and I suspect you could survive a few months with your kneecaps in pieces.

sapphirestars: Kaito: Ooooh-kay!! I get it. And contrary to popular belief, I need my knees. I am in no need to be that flexible. So, yes, I would die for her and I'd like to spend the rest of my life with her.

Candyland: Mom: So you're in love with her?

sapphirestars: Kaito: *peers around corners for certain fairly tall, messy-haired blue-eyed girls*: Ahem, *mutters* yes.

Candyland: Mom: Well, why didn't you just say so in the first place?

sapphirestars: Kaito: Think really hard...actually shouldn't have to think so hard.

sapphirestars: *Kaito scowls, sits back and pouts*

Candyland: Mom: *offers him a cup of tea* Well, for what it's worth, my Aoko seems to think quite highly of you as well--in spite of appearances to the contrary.

sapphirestars: *Sits up eagerly* Kaito: Really? Come one spill! You made me!

Candyland: Mom: *raises an eyebrow at him as she sips her tea* Did you really not have any idea, or are you just a very good actor?

sapphirestars: Kaito: I was born without a 'girl likes me' radar. There are many with my disease walking around.

Candyland: Mom: Oh, I like you. You're clever.

sapphirestars: Kaito preens: No, I'm nothing of the sort...but back to the original question...how do you know she might like me too?

Candyland: Mom: *sips her tea again* I don't suppose you would accept mother's intuition as an answer, would you?

sapphirestars: Kaito: You know, magicians also some with a "bullshit detector", pardon my french, Nakamori-san.

Candyland: Mom: Again, I'm liking you more and more, Kaito-kun *sips tea*

sapphirestars: Kaito: You are officially the most evasive woman I have ever met. More so than Aoko...except when she refuses to tell me why she got all red that one time we had to dress up for that ball the police department was throwing...I still wonder why *looks off thinking*

Candyland: Mom: ...apparently, I was right. All teenage boys suffer from that terrible medical condition known as "being dense as a rock." Tell me, Kaito-kun--what were you wearing to that party, and what was she wearing?

sapphirestars: Kaito: I feel like I should be offended. Um, I was wearing a black tux and she was wearing this um... *blushes* strapless red gown. Ahem.

Candyland: Mom: No offense intended, I assure you. Were you blushing all evening as well?

sapphirestars: Kaito: Most of the time...especially when the officers made us dance. *narrows eyes* evil evil police officers.

Candyland: Mom: Pay attention. She was in something red and strapless. You were in a tux. You both blushed all night. Now, what I want you to do is put two and two together.

sapphirestars: Kaito jumps out of seat abruptly: NO WAY!

sapphirestars: Kaito: Are you sure? I mean...what if she had a fever or something?

Candyland: Mom: First of all, two and two equal four. Just so you know. Secondly, she might have had a fever, but not in the way you're thinking *sips tea*

sapphirestars: Kaito blushes from the roots of his hair to his toes: Really *squeaks*? So...that time I had to wear a suit for some school project and she was blushing and looking at me...that was because of that?

Candyland: Mom: That strange feeling you're experiencing right now, Kaito-kun? That's what we professionals like to call "getting a clue." Now, here's the real question--what are you going to do about it?

sapphirestars: Kaito: Huh. Well, um...hey! wait a sec! If she likes me so much why she always chasing me with a mop? Explain that, professional.

Candyland: Mom: It's commonplace, really. Elementary schoolers view punching the object of their affections in the arm as saying "I fancy you." Furthermore, the fact that she gets so angry is proof that she cares.

sapphirestars: Kaito: You are blowing my mind...now what to do what to do...what do you think I should do?

Candyland: Mom: That depends on whether or not you want me to be completely honest about my desire for grandchildren. Quite frankly, Kaito-kun, I think you should muddle through this on your own. You're a smart boy--even if you are slow as a brick.

sapphirestars: Kaito: Not true. Bricks fall quite quickly from rooftops.

Candyland: Mom: Onto the heads of naughty little boys in love who are trying to change the subject. Quite tragic *sips tea*

sapphirestars: Kaito *pouts once more*: I am not trying to change the subject; I am merely commenting on a scientific truth. Besides, its not like she's here. Can't do anything now anyway.

Candyland: (is this the part where Aoko would come around the corner/out of the bookcase/through the window/some other highly contrived entry into the conversation?)

sapphirestars: (yes, I would so. probably returning from an errand...buying a new mop or something)

sapphirestars: (would think so)

Candyland: (or would she wait a bit longer to find out Kaito's plan, perhaps?)

sapphirestars: (hmmm, she could...of course, then we couldn't get prime Mom teasing of Kaito when she comes in)

Candyland: (hmmm...decisions, decisions...)

sapphirestars: (we could probably do both! ^_^)

sapphirestars: Aoko arrives *all happy and pretty because it windy and her hair's appropriately messy and her cheeks are flushed*

sapphirestars: Kaito *drools*

Candyland: Mom: *snickers behind her teacup* Welcome home, sweetie.

sapphirestars: Aoko drops groceries and shakes out hair: Hi Mom! Hey Kaito! Guess what I bought?

Candyland: Kaito: What?

sapphirestars: Aoko: *grins gleefully* a new mop!! My old one was getting kinda old. Plus, this one has a longer handle!

Candyland: Mom: Aoko, didn't I tell you that swinging a mop at people wasn't ladylike? Use a duster--or if you're really angry, a toilet brush should get the point across.

sapphirestars: Aoko: But mom...a toilet brush doesn't have nearly the swinging radius that a mop does.

Candyland: Mom: Yes, but think of the hygenic properties.

sapphirestars: Aoko: I'm just trying to swing at him, Mom. I don't actually use this mop for other things. I don't want to kill him, for goodness sake! There aren't any germs.

Candyland: Kaito: Wait a minute--so that time you actually hit me and knocked me through three desks, you WEREN'T trying to kill me?

sapphirestars: Aoko *looking prim*: Is it my fault that you lack balance? Besides you've always been able to dodge them before. My probabilities were much lower.

Candyland: Kaito: *was suddenly distracted by the fact that her hair was shiny* Sorry, wasn't listening--what did you say?

sapphirestars: Aoko: what were you looking at just now? And I said that its not my fault you fell through the desks!

Candyland: Kaito: Well, I certainly wasn't swinging a mop at me, now was I?

sapphirestars: Aoko: I wouldn't know... you certainly do some weird things.

Candyland: Mom: You knocked him into some desks? Aoko, that will simply not do! I insist that you apologize to Kaito-kun immediately!!

sapphirestars: Aoko: Hey! He flipped my skirt! He should apologize. I don't chase him around for any old reason!

Candyland: Mom: Aoko, flipping your skirt did not cause you potentially serious injury. Now apologize.

Candyland: Kaito: *to Mom* I'm liking you more and more.

sapphirestars: Aoko: Except for potential emotional trauma considering he does it every.single.day. I'm going to have to see a psychiatrist, thanks to him.

Candyland: Mom: *in Warning Voice* Aoko...

sapphirestars: Aoko: *narrows eyes* Mother...hmmm, I wonder where Dad is? *says innocently* Bet he'd like to hear all about the skirts.

Candyland: Mom: And when he takes Kaito-kun out with a shotgun, you'll be heartbroken. So kiss and make up, kids *sips tea*

Candyland: Mom: My tea is getting cold...

sapphirestars: Aoko: Oh for goodness sake. *in sing-song voice* Kaito, I'm sorry for knocking you into the desks even though you deserved every bit of it. I should rise above your immaturity and recognize that certain people will never change. Let me make some more tea, Mom.

Candyland: Mom: Oh, no, I'll do it myself. Which means I'll leave the room. I'll be out of earshot. Out of the room. You two will be alone. All alone. In the room. Here. Because I'm leaving now. Leaving you two alone. Together. *leaves*

sapphirestars: Aoko: Oooh-kay. What the hell was in her tea?

sapphirestars: Aoko: Wonder what she was going on about?

Candyland: Kaito: Ummm...

sapphirestars: Aoko: Ummm, what? Do you know what she meant?

Candyland: Kaito: ...don't suppose you'd believe me if I said no, would you?

sapphirestars: Aoko: No, as a matter of fact I wouldn't. So spill.

Candyland: Kaito: Well...we were talking about...stuff.

sapphirestars: Aoko: I am holding my mop Kaito. What stuff?

Candyland: Kaito: Okay, it's official. I know where you get it from now.

sapphirestars: Aoko: Get what from? Don't try to distract me, Kaito! What stuff?

Comments

[fyliwionvilyaer.livejournal.com]

I want moreeeeeee!!!!!!! XDXDXDXDXDXD *snickers* I like Aoko's mom XDXD Very very nice idea *cackles*

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

We chatted for a while longer, but the actual RP kinda...died. It went ded on us :( 'Twas fun, though!!