A little bit of wallowing...
Nov. 6th, 2006 10:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
candylandI feel like I've been doing a lot of whining lately, but ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jeva_chan insists that I'm not whining, and...I just need to get this out. Hopefully, I won't start crying again, because I already did that. Twice.
For starters, pretty sure I did not do well on that Art History test this morning.
My senior voice recital is on Friday. This is the culmination of three and a half years of private voice study. I have to memorize and sing forty-five minutes worth of music because I helped with two other recitals. So instead of an hour, I need forty-five minutes. A senior trombone player named Cory is doing this jointly with me so we can both get this done.
I'm absolutely terrified. I don't feel like I'm ready. I don't feel like I know my music well enough. And this is basically my overall final exam for voice stuff. Almost everything else is on the back-burner for this week, including piano--which is ANOTHER source of perpetual strain and worry. I'm surprised I don't have an ulcer yet. I have to pass piano proficiency this semester, or else I'm hosed.
Anyway, so I'm uber-stressing about this. Leah and I are discussing Methods (which we're BOTH freaking out about, and I'll get to that in shortly) when PK comes in and asks if I've ordered the punch and cookies for the recital. My response is, of course, "Huh?" So I'm getting a mini-grilling about the fact that this was apparently my responsibility, and I'm still going "Huh?" Well, we went to Methods class...in which I wound up bursting into tears. Great. Way to go, Linds.
Methods itself is a source of stress because of observation. She got us placed for observation at a school half an hour away. Which means that we have to plan about an hour of travel time into our scheduling. The other thing to consider is that the teacher only has a certain block of time in which she has secondary choirs. So we have to be there at that time. Since it takes half an hour to get there, we're basically arriving halfway through the junior high choir. All in all, we're guaranteed about an hour and a half of observation time. Figure in that we got lost the last time we went, and lost a half an hour trying to find the right turn. And she somehow thinks we're going to finish this by Thanksgiving?? *headdesks* The teacher we're working with is fantastic, but we're debating as to whether or not it's worth the headache.
Also, for voice lessons we're required to attend a recital. Usually, there are a few a semester, and there are ads all over Edson about them. I hadn't seen a-one. So I asked. Guess how many recitals there are this semester. Two. That's right, TWO. And one of them is MINE. The other one is TOMORROW. So I have to go to this one tomorrow night to get my requirement in. Whoop-dee-doo, one more thing to add pressure...
Anyway, so after class PK continues to harp at me about the stupid cookies and punch until finally I just whirled and informed her that thus far, I've had absolutely no CLUE what's going on with this recital. I've had no part in anything, and I get the general impression that I've been getting a pat on the head and shoo-ed off to sing my little songs and not worry mypretty little head about things...and she told me that they needed to have it done today. That was when I pretty much stormed off.
I went down to the Cent Room.ashleymouse and jewelsybear1017 were down there. I managed to not burst into tears until I was sitting down at the booth with them. And I had a nice cry. And God bless Jewelsy--while I was sitting there feeling sorry for myself, she went and got the order in for me for the cookies and punch. Bless you, my primary corruptor. Bless you ♥
Choir sucks, not gonna lie. We're doing a couple of neat songs, but the major work is absolutely boring. She keeps going on about how it's such pretty writing, but...I'm really not that impressed. The Rutter Reqiuem is a hundred times more beautiful and emotional than this Faure Requiem is. It's tedious to sing. I love our women's song, though--the one I'm conducting. But we didn't rehearse that today.
It's just sort of a culmination of a lot of shit that's been going on. I'm supposed to write a 5-7 page paper (which I think is due next week) over a visit to a Buddhist shrine...but I can't find the damn shrine! I've driven all over town looking for this place, and I can't find it. I can't write a paper about a place I can't freakin' find! Plus, my Art History paper is due next week as well, and I haven't even started writing it. Minimum of ten pages over King Tut with a focus on the death mask.
I'm also now two days behind on NaNoWriMo. I know that's not a huge requirement, but...gah...I really wanted to succeed at this, and so far, I'm...well, I'm not. But mostly it's this recital...I'm so stressed out about it. If I bomb...
...and I forgot to do that Academic Action to make sure the recital was on my transcript. F**K. I need to do that tomorrow...maybe after voice lessons DIE DIE DIE DIE DIIIIIIIE...
And then I get onto LJ to post about how upset I am, and I check my f-list, and I feel so freakin' petty because compared to something a couple of other people are going through right now...my problems are nothing. And as usual, I can't think of anything to say to be comforting at all. Their troubles are a lot worse than mine.
God...right now I just want to crawl into a hole and die. Stupid recital...hopefully things will be a little bit better tomorrow.
I want to get out of here.
jeva_chan insists that I'm not whining, and...I just need to get this out. Hopefully, I won't start crying again, because I already did that. Twice.For starters, pretty sure I did not do well on that Art History test this morning.
My senior voice recital is on Friday. This is the culmination of three and a half years of private voice study. I have to memorize and sing forty-five minutes worth of music because I helped with two other recitals. So instead of an hour, I need forty-five minutes. A senior trombone player named Cory is doing this jointly with me so we can both get this done.
I'm absolutely terrified. I don't feel like I'm ready. I don't feel like I know my music well enough. And this is basically my overall final exam for voice stuff. Almost everything else is on the back-burner for this week, including piano--which is ANOTHER source of perpetual strain and worry. I'm surprised I don't have an ulcer yet. I have to pass piano proficiency this semester, or else I'm hosed.
Anyway, so I'm uber-stressing about this. Leah and I are discussing Methods (which we're BOTH freaking out about, and I'll get to that in shortly) when PK comes in and asks if I've ordered the punch and cookies for the recital. My response is, of course, "Huh?" So I'm getting a mini-grilling about the fact that this was apparently my responsibility, and I'm still going "Huh?" Well, we went to Methods class...in which I wound up bursting into tears. Great. Way to go, Linds.
Methods itself is a source of stress because of observation. She got us placed for observation at a school half an hour away. Which means that we have to plan about an hour of travel time into our scheduling. The other thing to consider is that the teacher only has a certain block of time in which she has secondary choirs. So we have to be there at that time. Since it takes half an hour to get there, we're basically arriving halfway through the junior high choir. All in all, we're guaranteed about an hour and a half of observation time. Figure in that we got lost the last time we went, and lost a half an hour trying to find the right turn. And she somehow thinks we're going to finish this by Thanksgiving?? *headdesks* The teacher we're working with is fantastic, but we're debating as to whether or not it's worth the headache.
Also, for voice lessons we're required to attend a recital. Usually, there are a few a semester, and there are ads all over Edson about them. I hadn't seen a-one. So I asked. Guess how many recitals there are this semester. Two. That's right, TWO. And one of them is MINE. The other one is TOMORROW. So I have to go to this one tomorrow night to get my requirement in. Whoop-dee-doo, one more thing to add pressure...
Anyway, so after class PK continues to harp at me about the stupid cookies and punch until finally I just whirled and informed her that thus far, I've had absolutely no CLUE what's going on with this recital. I've had no part in anything, and I get the general impression that I've been getting a pat on the head and shoo-ed off to sing my little songs and not worry my
I went down to the Cent Room.
ashleymouse and jewelsybear1017 were down there. I managed to not burst into tears until I was sitting down at the booth with them. And I had a nice cry. And God bless Jewelsy--while I was sitting there feeling sorry for myself, she went and got the order in for me for the cookies and punch. Bless you, my primary corruptor. Bless you ♥Choir sucks, not gonna lie. We're doing a couple of neat songs, but the major work is absolutely boring. She keeps going on about how it's such pretty writing, but...I'm really not that impressed. The Rutter Reqiuem is a hundred times more beautiful and emotional than this Faure Requiem is. It's tedious to sing. I love our women's song, though--the one I'm conducting. But we didn't rehearse that today.
It's just sort of a culmination of a lot of shit that's been going on. I'm supposed to write a 5-7 page paper (which I think is due next week) over a visit to a Buddhist shrine...but I can't find the damn shrine! I've driven all over town looking for this place, and I can't find it. I can't write a paper about a place I can't freakin' find! Plus, my Art History paper is due next week as well, and I haven't even started writing it. Minimum of ten pages over King Tut with a focus on the death mask.
I'm also now two days behind on NaNoWriMo. I know that's not a huge requirement, but...gah...I really wanted to succeed at this, and so far, I'm...well, I'm not. But mostly it's this recital...I'm so stressed out about it. If I bomb...
...and I forgot to do that Academic Action to make sure the recital was on my transcript. F**K. I need to do that tomorrow...maybe after voice lessons DIE DIE DIE DIE DIIIIIIIE...
And then I get onto LJ to post about how upset I am, and I check my f-list, and I feel so freakin' petty because compared to something a couple of other people are going through right now...my problems are nothing. And as usual, I can't think of anything to say to be comforting at all. Their troubles are a lot worse than mine.
God...right now I just want to crawl into a hole and die. Stupid recital...hopefully things will be a little bit better tomorrow.
I want to get out of here.
