On the outside looking in...
Feb. 20th, 2006 11:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
candylandAt the beginning of the year, my best friend got a boyfriend...and I pretty much got dropped. Okay, okay, I can handle that...except that I feel like I then got dropped by everybody. I actually asked one of said friends why I never got invited to do anything anymore, and his enlightening response was, "Oh. I thought you were on duty." Bullshit, Steve--you never asked.
It was suggested to me that I should just invite myself along. Well, I was raised with the belief that that was incredibly rude. And I've had enough experiences with people inviting themselves along and overstaying their welcomes that I know it's annoying. I don't want to be that person.
Plus, on the increasingly rare occasions when I do get invited to tag along on something, or when I run into people somewhere...I always feel like the extra wheel or whatever the saying is. I'm on the outside, screaming and trying to get in, and all I'm getting is a sore throat. It's all inside jokes, conversation floating around me that I'm not encouraged to participate in, or my all-time favorite, when someone says something and says either "You should have been there" or "You had to be there." You know what? I would have LOVED to be there--let me know when stuff's going on once in a while.
Bottom line: I'm depressed, and I'm lonely. It's not just this, but a whole bunch of little things adding up. And I really don't know how to reach out. If there's a reason, I just want to know why. Someone, anyone, please--enlighten me. I don't think that's really asking too much. If it is, then I'm sorry.
It was suggested to me that I should just invite myself along. Well, I was raised with the belief that that was incredibly rude. And I've had enough experiences with people inviting themselves along and overstaying their welcomes that I know it's annoying. I don't want to be that person.
Plus, on the increasingly rare occasions when I do get invited to tag along on something, or when I run into people somewhere...I always feel like the extra wheel or whatever the saying is. I'm on the outside, screaming and trying to get in, and all I'm getting is a sore throat. It's all inside jokes, conversation floating around me that I'm not encouraged to participate in, or my all-time favorite, when someone says something and says either "You should have been there" or "You had to be there." You know what? I would have LOVED to be there--let me know when stuff's going on once in a while.
Bottom line: I'm depressed, and I'm lonely. It's not just this, but a whole bunch of little things adding up. And I really don't know how to reach out. If there's a reason, I just want to know why. Someone, anyone, please--enlighten me. I don't think that's really asking too much. If it is, then I'm sorry.