No news is good news, I guess...
Oct. 13th, 2008 10:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
candylandNo updates on Grandpa yet. Mom's staying in Independence tonight, where Grandpa's in hospice. She'll call if anything happens. I hope she's doing okay. I'm talking to my sister right now on MSN--nobody had let her now what was going on. I told her, and she went to call Mom right away. Now we're just chatting a bit. She's really upset, so we're just talking about Grandpa.
He's ninety-four years old. He lived on his own until he was eighty-nine, when they put him in a nursing home. Not long after that, we celebrated his ninetieth birthday. A LOT of the family came up to join the party. Even our relatives from Texas (Mom's oldest brother and his family), and Grandpa said, "They came all the way up here to surprise me. Well, I'll be damned."
Grandpa lived a long life. He raised five kids (my mother was the youngest), saw a lot of grandchildren and quite a few great-grandchildren. And he loved all of us. I mean...if it's his time to go, then it's his time.
But...I can remember being little. Our toys would take over the living room. Grandpa was already in his seventies when Bug and I were born, so he couldn't always get down on the floor to play with us, but he would sit with us and talk to us, or he'd read to us. Or we'd read to him. That's a grandparent's job, you know--to play.
I also have very fond memories of sitting at the kitchen table playing cards and board games--we especially liked Sorry. He and Dad were the ones who taught me how to play chess at that table. There was a pool table in his basement, which was the Coolest Thing Ever. I still don't know the rules of pool, but I'm a damned good shot, which surprised the hell out of some of my friends at college. Thanks for the lessons!
...
I think this happened near the end of my high school years, or maybe just before I started college, but Mom and I went to visit Grandpa for a weekend. I was sprawled on the living room floor with my Gameboy, just hanging out, when Grandpa came in and asked if I wanted to go to the fish hatchery and feed the fish. We used to go there all the time when Bug and I were kids. Now, to be honest, I really didn't want to go...
But Grandpa looked so excited about the idea. It was the happiest I had seen him in a long time. He was glowing. There was absolutely no way that I could say no to him. So I put a smile on my face and said, "Sure, Grandpa. That sounds like fun." He was so happy, and told me to go get my mom while he got his coat on. We piled in the car and off we went.
We wound up having quite the adventure. We fed the fish (I remember that place being a lot bigger), and then we drove around for a while, seeing all the places where Mom used to hang out when she was younger. And then we got lost in the country (Iowa farmlands, yay~) as it started to rain. I took a nap in the backseat, and then we stopped at Burger King for dinner. It was a really wonderful day.
...I told Mom about it some time later--how I really didn't care to go, but I didn't want to disappoint Grandpa because he looked so happy. And she got this really odd smile on her face and told me to go tell the story to my dad. I think she was really proud of me.
We went up to visit one weekend. Since a lot of our family lives out there, everyone would usually get together for dinner. So Mom put the turkey in the oven and went about the rest of the day. It's getting to be near dinnertime, so she goes to check on it...
What a time to find out that the oven was broken *laugh* With precious little time left before dinner, Dad was sent off on a mad rush to Pizza Ranch to buy chicken. Dinner went on as usual, and everyone was all "Yum!" about the chicken...and then we all had a really good laugh when they heard who the real chefs behind that were. A great Thanksgiving for the family :)
His favorite restaurant was Pizza Ranch, actually. It's silly, the things you remember. But whenever we'd go up there to visit, we'd take him to Pizza Ranch to eat. He just loved it.
The last time I got to go along...well, that wound up being sort of horrific because a blizzard blew in while I was driving home, and the two-hour drive took me three and a half hours and I was bawling by the time I got back to my apartment because I was so scared. But I was there, and Bug, and Mom and a couple of aunts and uncles.
Grandpa didn't remember my name. Granted, he always mixed my sister and I up, but he knew that I was his granddaughter, and he knew that I was a teacher. But he couldn't remember which town I taught in--he kept saying it was the neighboring city. According to Mom, that was actually pretty good for him. He doesn't always recognize my aunt when she goes to visit.
Dad said it could take days before he goes. I guess it's not really a surprise, given how bad his health has been and how far gone his mind is, but...I almost wish it would just happen so he could be free of that. He can go be with Grandma again, and my uncle Tom. Bug says that she hopes in his next life, Grandpa gets to read all the books he wants, and that he'll be able to feed the catfish.
And there is really nothing I can say to improve on that.
...I did cry a little, but I feel a bit better now.
He's ninety-four years old. He lived on his own until he was eighty-nine, when they put him in a nursing home. Not long after that, we celebrated his ninetieth birthday. A LOT of the family came up to join the party. Even our relatives from Texas (Mom's oldest brother and his family), and Grandpa said, "They came all the way up here to surprise me. Well, I'll be damned."
Grandpa lived a long life. He raised five kids (my mother was the youngest), saw a lot of grandchildren and quite a few great-grandchildren. And he loved all of us. I mean...if it's his time to go, then it's his time.
But...I can remember being little. Our toys would take over the living room. Grandpa was already in his seventies when Bug and I were born, so he couldn't always get down on the floor to play with us, but he would sit with us and talk to us, or he'd read to us. Or we'd read to him. That's a grandparent's job, you know--to play.
I also have very fond memories of sitting at the kitchen table playing cards and board games--we especially liked Sorry. He and Dad were the ones who taught me how to play chess at that table. There was a pool table in his basement, which was the Coolest Thing Ever. I still don't know the rules of pool, but I'm a damned good shot, which surprised the hell out of some of my friends at college. Thanks for the lessons!
...
I think this happened near the end of my high school years, or maybe just before I started college, but Mom and I went to visit Grandpa for a weekend. I was sprawled on the living room floor with my Gameboy, just hanging out, when Grandpa came in and asked if I wanted to go to the fish hatchery and feed the fish. We used to go there all the time when Bug and I were kids. Now, to be honest, I really didn't want to go...
But Grandpa looked so excited about the idea. It was the happiest I had seen him in a long time. He was glowing. There was absolutely no way that I could say no to him. So I put a smile on my face and said, "Sure, Grandpa. That sounds like fun." He was so happy, and told me to go get my mom while he got his coat on. We piled in the car and off we went.
We wound up having quite the adventure. We fed the fish (I remember that place being a lot bigger), and then we drove around for a while, seeing all the places where Mom used to hang out when she was younger. And then we got lost in the country (Iowa farmlands, yay~) as it started to rain. I took a nap in the backseat, and then we stopped at Burger King for dinner. It was a really wonderful day.
...I told Mom about it some time later--how I really didn't care to go, but I didn't want to disappoint Grandpa because he looked so happy. And she got this really odd smile on her face and told me to go tell the story to my dad. I think she was really proud of me.
We went up to visit one weekend. Since a lot of our family lives out there, everyone would usually get together for dinner. So Mom put the turkey in the oven and went about the rest of the day. It's getting to be near dinnertime, so she goes to check on it...
What a time to find out that the oven was broken *laugh* With precious little time left before dinner, Dad was sent off on a mad rush to Pizza Ranch to buy chicken. Dinner went on as usual, and everyone was all "Yum!" about the chicken...and then we all had a really good laugh when they heard who the real chefs behind that were. A great Thanksgiving for the family :)
His favorite restaurant was Pizza Ranch, actually. It's silly, the things you remember. But whenever we'd go up there to visit, we'd take him to Pizza Ranch to eat. He just loved it.
The last time I got to go along...well, that wound up being sort of horrific because a blizzard blew in while I was driving home, and the two-hour drive took me three and a half hours and I was bawling by the time I got back to my apartment because I was so scared. But I was there, and Bug, and Mom and a couple of aunts and uncles.
Grandpa didn't remember my name. Granted, he always mixed my sister and I up, but he knew that I was his granddaughter, and he knew that I was a teacher. But he couldn't remember which town I taught in--he kept saying it was the neighboring city. According to Mom, that was actually pretty good for him. He doesn't always recognize my aunt when she goes to visit.
Dad said it could take days before he goes. I guess it's not really a surprise, given how bad his health has been and how far gone his mind is, but...I almost wish it would just happen so he could be free of that. He can go be with Grandma again, and my uncle Tom. Bug says that she hopes in his next life, Grandpa gets to read all the books he wants, and that he'll be able to feed the catfish.
And there is really nothing I can say to improve on that.
...I did cry a little, but I feel a bit better now.
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(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-14 04:41 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-14 09:01 am (UTC)and geez.. living alone untill nearly 90? that is quite an achivement really, very few people live that old before something happens to there body and they need looking... I don't actually have any relatives that even got that old before they died.. I've only actually had a grandmother really, they mostly all died before I was old enough to remember... making them happy there last few moments is the best you can do really, old age happens ^^"
/desp that said you're probably going to live older than me i'd be lucky I live till 80, not just the way i'm living but with my familys history so I've only got 50 years to live! XP
(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-15 01:19 am (UTC)It sounds like your grandfather was amazing. I'm really sorry that he has to go, but just think, he'll be in a better place now. He has your love with him, and he will always watch you from above. His spirit will live on with you in your heart.
"If its a precious memory, you musn't forget it. This is because those who are gone can only live on in our memory." ~ Detective Takagi
Intresting memories
Date: 2008-10-15 03:38 am (UTC)I always remember sitting around my Grandparents house and enjoying every moment. I had cousins around out there too, so I was never alone when I was at my Grandparents. When I wasn't with my cousins, I was always with other family. Grandpa was never spry, being in his 70's most of the time I can remember him from early childhood. But he always had things for the kids to do, things we could play with, thing to keep us entertained. I remember the only time I played Tiddly-winks was with Grandpa.
My Grandpa died quite a while back, but he will never be gone. I know that you will carry great memories of him on forever. *hugs* My thoughts and prayers are with you.