On the outside looking in...

[candyland]

At the beginning of the year, my best friend got a boyfriend...and I pretty much got dropped. Okay, okay, I can handle that...except that I feel like I then got dropped by everybody. I actually asked one of said friends why I never got invited to do anything anymore, and his enlightening response was, "Oh. I thought you were on duty." Bullshit, Steve--you never asked.

It was suggested to me that I should just invite myself along. Well, I was raised with the belief that that was incredibly rude. And I've had enough experiences with people inviting themselves along and overstaying their welcomes that I know it's annoying. I don't want to be that person.

Plus, on the increasingly rare occasions when I do get invited to tag along on something, or when I run into people somewhere...I always feel like the extra wheel or whatever the saying is. I'm on the outside, screaming and trying to get in, and all I'm getting is a sore throat. It's all inside jokes, conversation floating around me that I'm not encouraged to participate in, or my all-time favorite, when someone says something and says either "You should have been there" or "You had to be there." You know what? I would have LOVED to be there--let me know when stuff's going on once in a while.

Bottom line: I'm depressed, and I'm lonely. It's not just this, but a whole bunch of little things adding up. And I really don't know how to reach out. If there's a reason, I just want to know why. Someone, anyone, please--enlighten me. I don't think that's really asking too much. If it is, then I'm sorry.

Comments

Helloo CALL ME:P

[vixieangel.livejournal.com]

Well maybe if you called me back cause I called your cell phone:P I am just joking with you hon. I know how you feel very much so. I feel the same way when I am here and now even more when I visit BV. I miss doing things with...and going out on Sunday!!!!!!!!!! I so miss that:P My only advice cause I feel this way alot is create your own story. No not type a fic:P (I was thining that to just as i typed it) I mean make your own fun. Do something completely different that you have always wanted to do. Then tell people about it. It they dont get it laugh and say you so had to be there. Once you start finding different things to do for fun with you people will want to hang with you or ask you want you are doing more then relying on so called job of the school:P Good Luck Hon