V-Day Thoughts

[candyland]

I was asked by someone specifically why I hate Valentine's Day. So I figured I'd lay it out here--a week after the fact, but it's getting posted anyway. LJ cut for the sake of your f-lists, and so those of you who don't care don't have to read it.



It's honestly not that I hate Valentine's Day. Granted, it's definitely not my favorite holiday--I'm extremely partial to Christmas--but I don't hate it, per se. I think it's a great idea (in theory, at least) a day for people to express love and/or affection to family, friends, spouses, significant others, etc. That's great. We'll ignore the fact that I'm still fairly disillusioned with the whole romance thing ^_^

However, they've commercialized all the meaning out of the holiday. I seriously think that those jewelry commercials should just say, "Buy her diamonds, or you don't really love her." Candy, cards, flowers...I appreciate that this is supposed to be the "special day" for telling someone you love them...but all the love has been removed from the day by the never-ending hype, and what I perceive to be an emphasis on romantic love. How about platonic love? Familial love? Let's show the less-romantic side of the emotion a little love as well, please.

Secondly, I get really sick of pink, white, and red. And I generally really like pink, too. But it's EVERYWHERE!! Bear in mind that I feel the same way about orange and black at Halloween, and red and green at Christmas. It's nothing personal, it's just overdone.

Finally, and most importantly, my dislike of February fourteenth derives from something that I know a lot of people get really pissed off about. Why, oh why, is it that every freakin' V-Day, at least half a dozen people feel the need to ask me some variant on the following question: "Why don't you have a boyfriend yet?" This is usually the part where I give them a veeeeeeery strained smile and walk away.

It especially irritates me when they feel the need to try and convince me that I'm somehow wrong for being single. One friend told me he thought I should "get a boyfriend," and proceeded to give me this whole long list of reasons why he enjoyed having a significant other. I'm like, "Great. That's you."

And that's another thing that bothers me, when people say to "get" a boyfriend. This isn't exactly a solo sport here. Is there a Boyfriend Boutique somewhere--you go in and say "I want this feature, this feature, and this feature, when can I pick him up?" Honestly, you don't just "get" a boyfriend, there's a bit more to it than that. Like mutual interest, perhaps?

And I really don't believe that the sun rises and sets by whether or not I--or anyone else--is attached or single. I'm twenty years old, and I'm a junior in college. I'm young, I'm busy, and I've got plenty of time to think about the whole "significant other" and "marriage" thing.

It's in the family, too, but surprisingly enough, it's not my parents. My mom teases me a lot about how I need to meet and marry a nice boy from our hometown and live in the house across the street so she can see her grandbabies whenever she wants--nothing about me in this arrangement, of course. But I know she's joking, and here's the reason why I know she actually doesn't want me to think about it yet.

My cousin got married a couple years back, and after the wedding a bunch of people were milling around, chatting before we headed off to the reception dinner. And someone--I can't remember who--came up to me and made a comment to the effect of, "Well, Lindsey, you're the next oldest, so you're next in line. When can we expect a wedding invitation?" My mother jumped from the other side of the room to stand in front of me and say, "Absolutely NOT. She's not even going to think about getting married until after she's graduated from college and gotten a job and an apartment. When she's got her feet under her, then we'll talk." And this woman looked absolutely shocked that I was eighteen years old and not thinking about marriage.

Thank you, Mom. You never let me down, do you? I still have to chuckle at how stunned that woman looked.

But that's really what gets to me the most. There's this huge emphasis on being attached on V-Day. There's so much focus on the romantic love that other love is too often tossed by the wayside. I love my friends. I love my family. Valentine's Day should be a day for love, period.

And I'm sick and tired of people asking me why I'm still single. QUIT ASKING ALREADY. Please! I'd be lying if I said I didn't have the occasional daydream about getting whisked away by a knight in shining armor. Like most other people, I do dream of falling in love someday. But the reality is that I haven't yet. So I'll keep my eyes open. If the Right One happens along, then we'll see what happens. Until then, I'm not going to worry myself about it. Too much else to do right now.

I really don't "hate" the holiday, much as it may sound to the contrary. I'm just extremely cynical about the way it's commercialized something that should be extremely special. If someone offers you a token of affection on February fourteenth, accept it with a smile. Show your friends you love them. But stop assuming that everyone is interested in being attached, and stop rubbing it in the faces of those that aren't. A good chunk of us really couldn't care less.

And yes, I realize that I can also make a lot of these generalizations about other holidays as well. But that, friends, is a story for another day.



shake_c_ras, there you have my rationale on why I'm just not big on V-Day. But as I was typing this, a really random thought crossed my mind: spirit_sage_333, you never did succeed with your alleged quest to de-virginize me ♥ *insert Smirk of Evil here*

Comments

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

Ahh, okay, I gotcha. Now it all makes sense!! And that is a hilarious line...I gotta go reread that story ^_^

For what it's worth, outed myself as Bi last year. Power to ya :)

[jeva-chan.livejournal.com]

If I'm bi, I can't say. I haven't done anything to judge on~! :D

[soc_puppet]

We'll just add you to the "As far as I know" list ;) (Yet another quote, whut. "I'm straight as far as I know. It's just as far as I know is as far as I know, you know?" Or something like that.)

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

That's right up there with Miriam telling me "There's a difference between not making any sense, and not making any sense. Does that make any sense??"

...*quietly steals quote to share with other people*

[jeva-chan.livejournal.com]

XDDDDDDDD God, I love you two and your ridiculous comments~! It reminds me of the "She knew that he knew that she knew that HE knew..." deal XDD

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

For some reason, the first thing that popped into my head when I read that was "This is the song that never ends..." And now it's firmly stuck there =P

[jeva-chan.livejournal.com]

I will KILL you if it gets stuck in my head! GAH! NOOOO! YOU EVIL!

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

*points to icon* Yesssssss...evil...although my hair is neither blonde, nor evil.

[jeva-chan.livejournal.com]

MY hair is blond or at least used to be...it's a dark blonde in anycase... And damn it! I hate you for having an icon to combat mine!

[soc_puppet]

^___^ It's from A Good Long Talk by Erica Friedman. Good stuff.

[soc_puppet]

Come to think of it, so do I ^^; And yes, it is muchly so :D

And to you, too ^_^ But I want to find out for darn sure before I start getting into relationships. I mean, I'm fairly certain, but so was my best friend. Er, I think. Anyway, I haven't exactly had any experience, so I can't be positive, but I'm pretty sure.

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

My best friend on the planet is gay, and he was a huge help while I was sorting through it--'cause it took me a while to figure it out. Kinda wish he hadn't moved twenty hours away after he graduated...

Was funny, though, when I made a comment at dinner last night, and one of my friends says, "Geez, Lindsey, are you bi or something and you didn't tell me?" Everyone else at the table just smiled.

[jeva-chan.livejournal.com]

My friend Shannon thought I was coming out of the closet when I said I'd love to be in a threesome with two guys. XDDD

[soc_puppet]

*dies*

...I need a laughing icon. And a nervous/sweatdropping icon, but that's neither here nor there.

Anyway, I just want a couple of people to... expirement with. See what I like and whether I like what I think I like and stuff. Just to make sure.

[jeva-chan.livejournal.com]

Well, hey. I would offer up, but to be honest, I want to at least wait until after my first time. That, and I've heard a lot of horror stories about friends with benefits and-or friends who experiment...D:

[soc_puppet]

...I don't think I want to hear these stories, do I?

'Sokay. I mostly want to try the kiss-and-cuddle thing, but I don't really know if I know anyone I could do that with. Maybe I should try and find out via dating (when I actually get around to dating, that is).

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

I've done the kiss-and-cuddle thing a couple times before--in high school, before my Revelation. It was okay *shrug* I s'pose. To each their own. And I hear ya on the dating thing.

[soc_puppet]

I just want to know what it's like. And I know it wouldn't be the same as with someone I actually like liked, but... *sigh*

My one attempt at dating thus far was rather complicated ^^; The details can be found here, if you're interested.

[jeva-chan.livejournal.com]

No, you don't *hugs* D: I've had to actually SEE those kinds of things happen, actually...

Ah, well...if that's the case, then I'd only say no if I haven't had my first kiss yet (which I haven't). Or...fgnaghjfg! Wagh...I don't know! I've actually thought about trying the kissing-and-cuddling thing too! D:! And yet I still guarded myself when my friend Shannon went, "LET ME TAKE YOUR LIPS VIRGINITY!"

...I have weird friends *sweatdrops*

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

My friend Ryann is/was on a quest to "de-virginize" me--with someone else. Hasn't succeeded yet. Weird friends keep things interesting!!

I've kissed a couple of people. The level of actual pleasantness...well, it varied >_< Major ugh on one of them...

[soc_puppet]

I don't count anything before I went through puberty. Otherwise my first kiss might be gone--which is rather annoying, because I've technically already had a girlfriend.

Anyway, being kissed (or kissing someone) is still on my list of Ten Things To Do Before I Die.

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

I see nothing wrong with that. At all. *is thinking happy thoughts*

[jeva-chan.livejournal.com]

I've actually ran scenerios in my head about a threesome like that...need to find guys that wouldn't mind playing with each other, though. Hm...

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

*is still thinking happy thoughts* I know they're out there. Somewhere. Just hafta find them. *goes off searching* Heeeeeere, boys...

[jeva-chan.livejournal.com]

*also thinking happy thoughts now* It would be nice to have open-minded guys like that. ...would suck if one of them was going out with you and then you have the threesome and they liked the other guy more than you, though. *thoughtful look*

...GAH! NO! WTF PLOTBUNNY?!