From the vaults of my Bad Chat Thoughts...

[candyland]

A thought that nailed me one night whilst chatting with jeva_chan and fyliwionvilyaer:

Vampires + blowjobs = ZOMG FANGS IN BAD PLACES

*bows* That is all.

And please to not be telling me that vampires can suck their fangs back up into their gums or that it somehow enhances things (O.O), because I will stick my fingers in my ears and go "LALALANOTLISTENING!" Because I'm very mature like that.

Comments

[ickaimp.livejournal.com]

But the groin is actually one of the best places for a Vampire to feed because there's a lot of blood flow right there and several arteries close to the surface to feed off of. ~_^

Where neck meets shoulder, inner elbow and the inner knee are also good places for the same reason.

... if you're a vampire who wants to feed without killing your donor, that is. ^_____^

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

*shakes head as everyone seems to have totally missed the point* I wasn't looking at it from the vampire's point of view... >_>;;

[fyliwionvilyaer.livejournal.com]

Well you...

There IS good blood flow there.

*beams innocently*

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

...

*doesn't believe the innocent*

[soc_puppet]

As a follow-up of sorts to all the "good blood flow" comments, I'd like to speculate as to whether vampire bites itch like mosquito bites do.

...It also makes me think of the lesbian vampire joke.

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

...that is not a place I'd want to find out about that.

Also, I do not know the lesbian vampire joke. Do I want to?

[soc_puppet]

Neither would I.

I promise it becomes less gross the longer you know it?
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?
"See you next month."

Which is on the way to inspiring really, really terrible Vampyre fics, let me tell you.

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

... *bonks*

[mint-eclair.livejournal.com]

I suddenly thought of hentai Karin doujins.

orz

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

*has no idea what you are talking about but will smile and nod anyway*

[soc_puppet]

...

. . .

Karin. See also this. Definitely. Now.

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

...why would I know that series? I've never been really into the vampire thing. Hell, jeva_chan's Kaito!vampire fic is the first one I've ever read >_> But I'll give it a look, I s'pose.

[girlquinn.livejournal.com]

You know, the normal vampire phallic shaped object was enough ("plunging" a "stake" of "wood" into a vampire, etc.), but you just killed my brain. >=P

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

Moo ha ha! *grabs a piece of your broken brain and runs away with it* MIIIIIIIIINE!!!

*also makes note to throw that particular bit of symbolism at jeva_chan for her vampire!Kaito fic and then laugh when she flails at me for it*

[jeva-chan.livejournal.com]

What Icka said. There's a artery there. All the better for the vampires.

But you're not going to have me write anything of the sort. No way.

Also, hello from Chicago *waves*

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

...I think everyone totally missed the point of the statement >_>

And yes. Yes, I will. I will also be getting you to write something for That Joint Venture (actual title pending at some point) because I'm closing in on the finish of it. And then you will write!

Hello! *waves back* Hope you're having fun :3

[okami-tsukuyomi.livejournal.com]

...I was just about to watch my copy of Hellsing Ultimate Series: II, but I think I'll wait until I forget the above now. >__o;;

[candy--chan.livejournal.com]

Ehehe...sorry? *puts on halo made of shiny gold tinsel*

[magic-truth.livejournal.com]

That has GOT to be painful for the person getting...the job done to. Sure, it might go well for the vampire but...

[ytak.livejournal.com]

Um...okay? And this conversation was brought up by...?