V-Day Thoughts
Feb. 22nd, 2006 11:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
candylandI was asked by someone specifically why I hate Valentine's Day. So I figured I'd lay it out here--a week after the fact, but it's getting posted anyway. LJ cut for the sake of your f-lists, and so those of you who don't care don't have to read it.
It's honestly not that I hate Valentine's Day. Granted, it's definitely not my favorite holiday--I'm extremely partial to Christmas--but I don't hate it, per se. I think it's a great idea (in theory, at least) a day for people to express love and/or affection to family, friends, spouses, significant others, etc. That's great. We'll ignore the fact that I'm still fairly disillusioned with the whole romance thing ^_^
However, they've commercialized all the meaning out of the holiday. I seriously think that those jewelry commercials should just say, "Buy her diamonds, or you don't really love her." Candy, cards, flowers...I appreciate that this is supposed to be the "special day" for telling someone you love them...but all the love has been removed from the day by the never-ending hype, and what I perceive to be an emphasis on romantic love. How about platonic love? Familial love? Let's show the less-romantic side of the emotion a little love as well, please.
Secondly, I get really sick of pink, white, and red. And I generally really like pink, too. But it's EVERYWHERE!! Bear in mind that I feel the same way about orange and black at Halloween, and red and green at Christmas. It's nothing personal, it's just overdone.
Finally, and most importantly, my dislike of February fourteenth derives from something that I know a lot of people get really pissed off about. Why, oh why, is it that every freakin' V-Day, at least half a dozen people feel the need to ask me some variant on the following question: "Why don't you have a boyfriend yet?" This is usually the part where I give them a veeeeeeery strained smile and walk away.
It especially irritates me when they feel the need to try and convince me that I'm somehow wrong for being single. One friend told me he thought I should "get a boyfriend," and proceeded to give me this whole long list of reasons why he enjoyed having a significant other. I'm like, "Great. That's you."
And that's another thing that bothers me, when people say to "get" a boyfriend. This isn't exactly a solo sport here. Is there a Boyfriend Boutique somewhere--you go in and say "I want this feature, this feature, and this feature, when can I pick him up?" Honestly, you don't just "get" a boyfriend, there's a bit more to it than that. Like mutual interest, perhaps?
And I really don't believe that the sun rises and sets by whether or not I--or anyone else--is attached or single. I'm twenty years old, and I'm a junior in college. I'm young, I'm busy, and I've got plenty of time to think about the whole "significant other" and "marriage" thing.
It's in the family, too, but surprisingly enough, it's not my parents. My mom teases me a lot about how I need to meet and marry a nice boy from our hometown and live in the house across the street so she can see her grandbabies whenever she wants--nothing about me in this arrangement, of course. But I know she's joking, and here's the reason why I know she actually doesn't want me to think about it yet.
My cousin got married a couple years back, and after the wedding a bunch of people were milling around, chatting before we headed off to the reception dinner. And someone--I can't remember who--came up to me and made a comment to the effect of, "Well, Lindsey, you're the next oldest, so you're next in line. When can we expect a wedding invitation?" My mother jumped from the other side of the room to stand in front of me and say, "Absolutely NOT. She's not even going to think about getting married until after she's graduated from college and gotten a job and an apartment. When she's got her feet under her, then we'll talk." And this woman looked absolutely shocked that I was eighteen years old and not thinking about marriage.
Thank you, Mom. You never let me down, do you? I still have to chuckle at how stunned that woman looked.
But that's really what gets to me the most. There's this huge emphasis on being attached on V-Day. There's so much focus on the romantic love that other love is too often tossed by the wayside. I love my friends. I love my family. Valentine's Day should be a day for love, period.
And I'm sick and tired of people asking me why I'm still single. QUIT ASKING ALREADY. Please! I'd be lying if I said I didn't have the occasional daydream about getting whisked away by a knight in shining armor. Like most other people, I do dream of falling in love someday. But the reality is that I haven't yet. So I'll keep my eyes open. If the Right One happens along, then we'll see what happens. Until then, I'm not going to worry myself about it. Too much else to do right now.
I really don't "hate" the holiday, much as it may sound to the contrary. I'm just extremely cynical about the way it's commercialized something that should be extremely special. If someone offers you a token of affection on February fourteenth, accept it with a smile. Show your friends you love them. But stop assuming that everyone is interested in being attached, and stop rubbing it in the faces of those that aren't. A good chunk of us really couldn't care less.
And yes, I realize that I can also make a lot of these generalizations about other holidays as well. But that, friends, is a story for another day.
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shake_c_ras, there you have my rationale on why I'm just not big on V-Day. But as I was typing this, a really random thought crossed my mind: spirit_sage_333, you never did succeed with your alleged quest to de-virginize me ♥ *insert Smirk of Evil here*
It's honestly not that I hate Valentine's Day. Granted, it's definitely not my favorite holiday--I'm extremely partial to Christmas--but I don't hate it, per se. I think it's a great idea (in theory, at least) a day for people to express love and/or affection to family, friends, spouses, significant others, etc. That's great. We'll ignore the fact that I'm still fairly disillusioned with the whole romance thing ^_^
However, they've commercialized all the meaning out of the holiday. I seriously think that those jewelry commercials should just say, "Buy her diamonds, or you don't really love her." Candy, cards, flowers...I appreciate that this is supposed to be the "special day" for telling someone you love them...but all the love has been removed from the day by the never-ending hype, and what I perceive to be an emphasis on romantic love. How about platonic love? Familial love? Let's show the less-romantic side of the emotion a little love as well, please.
Secondly, I get really sick of pink, white, and red. And I generally really like pink, too. But it's EVERYWHERE!! Bear in mind that I feel the same way about orange and black at Halloween, and red and green at Christmas. It's nothing personal, it's just overdone.
Finally, and most importantly, my dislike of February fourteenth derives from something that I know a lot of people get really pissed off about. Why, oh why, is it that every freakin' V-Day, at least half a dozen people feel the need to ask me some variant on the following question: "Why don't you have a boyfriend yet?" This is usually the part where I give them a veeeeeeery strained smile and walk away.
It especially irritates me when they feel the need to try and convince me that I'm somehow wrong for being single. One friend told me he thought I should "get a boyfriend," and proceeded to give me this whole long list of reasons why he enjoyed having a significant other. I'm like, "Great. That's you."
And that's another thing that bothers me, when people say to "get" a boyfriend. This isn't exactly a solo sport here. Is there a Boyfriend Boutique somewhere--you go in and say "I want this feature, this feature, and this feature, when can I pick him up?" Honestly, you don't just "get" a boyfriend, there's a bit more to it than that. Like mutual interest, perhaps?
And I really don't believe that the sun rises and sets by whether or not I--or anyone else--is attached or single. I'm twenty years old, and I'm a junior in college. I'm young, I'm busy, and I've got plenty of time to think about the whole "significant other" and "marriage" thing.
It's in the family, too, but surprisingly enough, it's not my parents. My mom teases me a lot about how I need to meet and marry a nice boy from our hometown and live in the house across the street so she can see her grandbabies whenever she wants--nothing about me in this arrangement, of course. But I know she's joking, and here's the reason why I know she actually doesn't want me to think about it yet.
My cousin got married a couple years back, and after the wedding a bunch of people were milling around, chatting before we headed off to the reception dinner. And someone--I can't remember who--came up to me and made a comment to the effect of, "Well, Lindsey, you're the next oldest, so you're next in line. When can we expect a wedding invitation?" My mother jumped from the other side of the room to stand in front of me and say, "Absolutely NOT. She's not even going to think about getting married until after she's graduated from college and gotten a job and an apartment. When she's got her feet under her, then we'll talk." And this woman looked absolutely shocked that I was eighteen years old and not thinking about marriage.
Thank you, Mom. You never let me down, do you? I still have to chuckle at how stunned that woman looked.
But that's really what gets to me the most. There's this huge emphasis on being attached on V-Day. There's so much focus on the romantic love that other love is too often tossed by the wayside. I love my friends. I love my family. Valentine's Day should be a day for love, period.
And I'm sick and tired of people asking me why I'm still single. QUIT ASKING ALREADY. Please! I'd be lying if I said I didn't have the occasional daydream about getting whisked away by a knight in shining armor. Like most other people, I do dream of falling in love someday. But the reality is that I haven't yet. So I'll keep my eyes open. If the Right One happens along, then we'll see what happens. Until then, I'm not going to worry myself about it. Too much else to do right now.
I really don't "hate" the holiday, much as it may sound to the contrary. I'm just extremely cynical about the way it's commercialized something that should be extremely special. If someone offers you a token of affection on February fourteenth, accept it with a smile. Show your friends you love them. But stop assuming that everyone is interested in being attached, and stop rubbing it in the faces of those that aren't. A good chunk of us really couldn't care less.
And yes, I realize that I can also make a lot of these generalizations about other holidays as well. But that, friends, is a story for another day.
shake_c_ras, there you have my rationale on why I'm just not big on V-Day. But as I was typing this, a really random thought crossed my mind: spirit_sage_333, you never did succeed with your alleged quest to de-virginize me ♥ *insert Smirk of Evil here*
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(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-23 06:40 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-23 06:45 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-23 06:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-23 06:47 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-23 06:49 am (UTC)Dumb question, but who the hell is that Princess Lolly that's on your comment thing?
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-23 06:51 am (UTC)A character from Candyland. Same as the Gloppy on the link to my Friends page. Sticking with my theme, I s'pose :)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-23 06:53 am (UTC)Ah...makes sense...though I still don't get it. :D But that's okay, it is 12:53AM, I have a psycholoy final at 10AM, and I'm feeling fiiiiiiine~!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-23 06:57 am (UTC)I'm on duty, so I'm up until two AM. Lurvly being an RA...but on the bright side, my nine AM piano lesson got cancelled for tomorrow, so I get an extra hour of sleep before my 9:30 class *does Happy Dances of Joyous Evil*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-23 07:12 am (UTC)Bah...what time zone is that? *is seriously getting that drunken feeling you get from staying way for too many hours*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-23 07:19 am (UTC)Central time zone. I'm an Iowa girl. It's twenty after one en la manana. Whoo...forty minutes 'till bedtime!
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Date: 2006-02-23 06:49 am (UTC)"[P]ersonally If I had to choose between the two of ‘em in bikinis, I’d rather watch Aoko—”
Even Conan had to grin a little at that. “Yeah, well, you’re biased.”
A pause; and then Hei-san’s eyebrows rose mischievously. “*Straight,* actually, though they DO say that variety is the spice of life…”
That had me practically convulsing with laughter. 'Specially since I'm pretty sure I'm Bi, and we don't get a lot of acknowledgement D:
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-23 06:51 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-23 06:55 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-23 07:09 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-23 06:53 am (UTC)For what it's worth, outed myself as Bi last year. Power to ya :)
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Date: 2006-02-23 06:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-23 06:58 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-23 07:05 am (UTC)...*quietly steals quote to share with other people*
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Date: 2006-02-23 07:08 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2006-02-23 07:10 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-23 06:56 am (UTC)And to you, too ^_^ But I want to find out for darn sure before I start getting into relationships. I mean, I'm fairly certain, but so was my best friend. Er, I think. Anyway, I haven't exactly had any experience, so I can't be positive, but I'm pretty sure.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-23 07:03 am (UTC)Was funny, though, when I made a comment at dinner last night, and one of my friends says, "Geez, Lindsey, are you bi or something and you didn't tell me?" Everyone else at the table just smiled.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-23 07:10 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-23 07:14 am (UTC)...I need a laughing icon. And a nervous/sweatdropping icon, but that's neither here nor there.
Anyway, I just want a couple of people to... expirement with. See what I like and whether I like what I think I like and stuff. Just to make sure.
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Date: 2006-02-23 07:16 am (UTC)(no subject)
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